Exits

We've previously talked about being okay where you are while you're waiting for the next phase of your life/job/relationship to open up. And we talked about handling disappointment and being patient while those areas are opening up. But how do you handle things when those doors are finally open and you're ready to move on to the next phase of your life? How do you exit your current situation?

There are two ways that you can leave when you're ready:

1. Sneaking out the back, leaving any mess you've created behind for others to deal with, or
2. Bow out visibly and gracefully, to the applause of those who have been around you.

In Genesis, Joseph had several opportunities to decide how he would bow out as he went through the phases of life that lead him from being the young brother in his father's camp to the second in command under Pharaoh, fulfilling the dreams he'd had as a child. At every turn he chose to live as if he was the person of his dreams, not as if his current circumstances were all he'd ever amount to. When he was sold into slavery he didn't act like a slave, and rose to being treated as a leader in Potiphar's house. When Potiphar's wife tried to seduce him, he acted with integrity and didn't resign himself to taking advantage of his current lot in life. When he was thrown in prison he didn't mope and rail against his unjust incarceration, but instead focused on what he could do and rose to being treated as a leader in the jail, and eventually brought before Pharaoh for his wisdom and leadership.

Joseph could have thumbed his nose at every turn of events, but instead he left each previous situation with as much integrity and goodwill as possible, even when the circumstances were unsalvageable. Leaving well is about valuing the relationship above the situation. Sometimes that calls for forgiving people who are not sorry for their actions. Joseph had to do that time and again when people betrayed him. He forgave his brothers for selling him away from his home, even though he had ample opportunity to be bitter against them during the many years before he saw them again. And that lack of bitterness opened the doors necessary for Joseph to not only fulfill his dreams but save all of their lives in the process.

Maybe you haven't been sold away from your family or accused of a crime you didn't commit. Maybe you're just contending with a difficult job or an overbearing relationship. Regardless, "how you go out is how you come in." Kissing off a previous situation doesn't mean that mental state won't follow you into your new situation. And you never know when you'll cross paths with that seemingly over-and-done-with part of your life, physically or otherwise. So take care how you exit. How you leave determines whether people are applauding or simply appalled.

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What are some times when you've left a situation well? Or not so well?